“The place where you are right now, God circled on the map for you…. The Beloved has bowed there, knowing you were coming.” -Hafiz
I’ve been restless lately, anxious about the way things are going, cranky and depressed, depleted by a whacked out metabolism, and wondering where I really belong. Hafiz says, Well, sweetie, how about right here?
A few days ago, I heard a quartet play Brahms concerto No. 3 in C Minor, and I dissolved into a dumbstruck blissy mess. It was brilliant, troubling, gorgeous, wild. Hours later I was still staggering around, and I tried to tell a friend about this music. She commented: if you didn’t have a restless soul, you couldn’t be moved by that music.
The agitation in our collective mirrors and augments my own. I know I’m not alone here. What comes to mind are the Benedictine vows of Obedience, Stability, and Conversion, all of which sound ominously pious. But I encountered them through Christine Vaulter Paintner’s book The Artist’s Rule, and I like how she puts it.
It seems like timely help for anchoring amid the turbulence. Loosely quoted, here it is:
Obedience is about being faithful to the task for which you were called and not spending your precious life energy on what doesn’t further that call….
Stability can mean being committed to a place, a community, and/or your own heart. It means encountering your restlessness but staying present to the gifts and challenges of the process of creative, engaged living in relationship….
Conversion is the commitment to the continual process of growth, of stumbling regularly and getting up again…. In doing so, we discover that the greatest transformations happen when we are willing to step into the unknown space between our egos and our deepest longings.
Stability? Just settling in and letting restlessness be my teacher and companion? Letting this very ground under the chaos assure me that I’m standing in the footsteps of the Beloved? Very challenging.
And who is this Beloved anyway? For Hafiz, the Beloved is the sacred mystery, God, experienced as the heart’s fulfillment, the soul’s lover, the source of longing and beauty, encountered in the realm of spirit, yet visible and tangible in everyone and everything that moves us to deep feeling (including difficult ones) and an encounter with the Divine. Christian mystics often talk the same way, and while the Beloved is often referencing Jesus, they use all kinds of language and imagery to describe the One they encounter in love . Watch your dreams: the Beloved, in my way of thinking, both orchestrates and occasionally stars in these productions. He/She/They/It is a master of disguise; it can take a minute to catch on.
Really, nobody should be without a book of Hafiz poems right now.
Then the Dreamgiver sidled up with a dessert tray:
In my dream, I’m at a dockside restaurant out in the boonies where a waitress pauses with a tray of chocolate puddings in little dessert dishes. What’s this? I see a diamond engagement ring in one of the dishes. I pluck it out. I don’t know who put it there, or if it was intended for me, or if it’s a joke, or maybe this is some backwoods fairy tale. As I examine the ring, increasingly suspicious of this situation, the ring becomes a tacky tin-and-glass fake. Curious, I put it on. Not only does it fit, it changes again, the diamond real and more beautiful than before. When my cynicism returns, the ring sprouts ugly plastic bits.
In the dream, I watch how, as the nature of my engagement with this ring changes, so does the symbol of its intention. When I’m curious, it becomes more beautiful. When I’m cynical, it gets ugly and strange.
What is this dream about? For now, I’m just trying to notice how I engage when the Beloved shows up in ordinary living. I’m trying to notice when I get restless, impatient, resentful, overwhelmed. When my heart warms. When I sprout ugly bristles, or when I sparkle in the light.
Making sense is one approach to the jumble of dreams and waking life; making a collage is another. Pasting together these recent fragments helps me to see a bigger picture, and find the imagination to embrace inner and outer restlessness as a school of the heart. To commit to the life I was called to, in the place where I am, and to make room for unexpected transformations.
I imagine many of you are sensing connections between dreams and waking life — conversations, reading, news updates, glimpses, music, arguments, synchronicities, images. I’d be honored to hear from you.
What happens next? Maybe we could trust that as our stability deepens and obedience to our soul’s summons settles in, we find that our calling develops its own conversion. Perceptions can change. Compassion and curiosity can blossom. And maybe, if we reach for the sticky treasure of heartfelt engagement, willing to risk something big, the Beloved nods from the table across the room, knowing we have it in us to take up this moment, right here, right now, and come sit down, and see where it goes.
Blessings waking and dreaming,
Laura
A Diamond-in Your-Pudding Proposal:
Join us for new Dream Groups beginning in January 2026.
My dream groups are small circles of dreamers who meet regularly to explore dreams together. We’ll cover the basics of Jungian-oriented dreamwork; practice the respectful mode of projective group dreamwork, lean into the wild wisdom of our dreams, and find ways to work, play, and pray with dreams as a response to their summons.
I’m offering two kinds of groups: those for anyone interested, and others specifically for clergy, chaplains, and spiritual directors of any faith or following.
Each group will sort itself out and choose their best time for the Zoom gatherings. (It’s a messy process but it works. Possibly clergy groups on Mondays and/or Fridays.)
We meet every other week for 2 hours. Groups are small (4-6) and you can set up a group with your friends and colleagues if you wish.
The fee is $25 for each session; a group usually chooses to meet 6-8 times, and payment is due at the beginning of the season.
Here’s a previous post on what a dream group is and how it works:
https://mailchi.mp/f2dfede4202c/dragon-fragments-15606415
Why a clergy/chaplain/SD group?
- Because your job is really demanding.
- Because people expect you to be professionally “good” and you might need a place to play.
- Because befriending your shadow its hidden gold is a rich and necessary practice.
- Because sometimes your well just runs dry.
- Because I know a lot of clergy/chaplains/SDs, I appreciate you enormously, and I love working with you.
Interested? Come to a free info session on Zoom. Currently two are scheduled:
Friday, November 21 from 1-2 EST
Monday, November 24, 10-11 EST.
Email me at laura@firebynight.net and let me know which info session you want to attend. I’ll confirm right away and send you the link the day of the meeting.
If neither is a good time, we can just talk. Happy to answer questions! I look forward to hearing from you.
HAPPENING THIS SUMMER!
Ring Lake Ranch in the Wind River Canyon of Wyoming is new to me, and I’m thrilled that we’ve discovered each other. I’ll be offering a week of dream exploration there May 31-June 6. Take a look! Pass it on! So many wonderful people and programs on the schedule. I may stay all summer.
PICTURE BOOK (like a shared dream)
Your picture book this month is The Treasure by Uri Shulevitz, a beautiful retelling of an old dream-centric tale. Click on the link below to enjoy this jewel of a book.
https://youtu.be/xcAlkfMT3qw?si=EbaDzS4575lxJQAC
* The Gift: Poems by Hafiz the Great Sufi Master, Translated by Daniel Ladinsky is one I like.
Be in touch! Email me at laura@firebynight.net or go to www.firebynight.net to learn more about options for individual or group dreamwork or speaking engagements.